A Ticking Time Bomb- Cam's Story
by Lindsey Jones
Summary: Finally get a deeper look into the psychology that makes up Campbell Saunders. What really drove him to his suicide? Take a journey through Cam's time on Degrassi with added depth into his thoughts and motivations.
1. Chapter 1

With a shaky breath, Cam took a step off of the rusting yellow bus. Looking up at the immaculate building before him, he fought the intense urge to get right back on, go back to the airport, an fly home. "Why the hell am i here," he thought to himself. His heart began to pound in his ears, as that all to familiar wave of anxiety began to wash over him. "Not again," he grimaced. His increasing panic was interrupted by a rough shove, causing him to stumble off the uneven pavement outide of Degrassi Community School.

"Get a move on, rook. Gotta introduce this school to their new Gods." Mike Dallas sauntered off the bus, giving Cam a noogie before making his way up the steps and into the front door. The rest of the Ice Hounds followed suit, each giving Cam either a shove or an insulting nickname as they filed after Dallas into the school. Cam shook his head. "seriously, why the HELL am i here." he wondered again. Sighing, he adjusted the straps on his backpack before reluctantly climbing the steps to Degrassi, secretly wishing there was a way to disappear before the big assembly.

"ROOKIE! get your ass in here. You'll have time to pick flowers after school, wuss." Luke Baker leaned against the door, slapping Cam on the back of his head as he made his way inside behind him. Again, Cam said nothing. He merely followed the rest of his team, in their matching red hoodies, hoping that the identical matching clothing would somehow blend him in with the rest of the team, making him just another invisible member. Unfortunately, the six inch height difference was doing him no justice.

The crowds of students in the halls parted like the Red Sea as the Ice Hounds made their way towards the gymnasium. Cam was suddenly very aware of the silence and the stares he was receiving. The feelings of anxiety began to creep into his brain once again; but he managed to push them away as he found himself inside the gym, which had been decorated in order to welcome the team. Dallas slapped his hands together slyly and nudged Cam. "Get ready for the best four years of your life, rookie. We are gonna own this school". It took all of Cam's inner strength to force a smile and a small nod back to his captain. Behind that plastic smile, all of Cam's energy was slowly draining from his consciousness.

He reluctantly sat down with the rest of his team, bracing himself for another first day at another new school, a million miles away from his home and his mom and his brother. Nothing here for him but more hockey. He sighed unhappily to himself and tried to pay attention to the wiry, balding man now taking his place at the podium. He felt relief as the lights dimmed, allowing him to slip into his own world, away from the prying eyes of all these strangers.

After he woke up from sleeping through the assembly, a groggy Cam stumbled out of the gym through a sea of excited students, many of whom were now giggling and staring at him. He looked at them in bewilderment. "Really, already?" he thought. "I swear, everyone hates me already." He looked at the crumpled map of the school layout he had been given on the bus ride over, and eventually found his way to his french classroom. If there was one thing Cam hated, it was french.

He slumped into a seat in the back of the classroom. He rubbed the back of his head with his hands and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, two kids were staring at him, trying unsuccessfully to contain their laughter. "Okay seriously, what?" Cam snapped, fed up with the completely unwarranted rudeness he was getting from all these weird kids. "There must be something in the water here," he thought, making a mental note to bring his own water bottle from now on. "Oh my gosh, you really have no idea?" A flamboyant ginger stared at him in disbelief.

Cam met him with a blank stare. The other student, a small blonde girl with wire-framed glasses and a button nose pulled out a compact mirror, holding it out to him. Cam peered into the mirror. "You've gotta be freaking kidding me." Cam stared at his grimy reflection in the cheap compact mirror. A crudely drawn mustache and monocle stared back at him. Dallas. "Well, i think you look perfectly snazzy!" the boy quipped with a slight lisp, and held out his hand. "I'm Tristan."

"Cam" he replied, rejecting the handshake, instead placing the compact into Tristan's outstretched hand, and wiping his face on the sleeve of his hoodie. The girl spoke quietly. "I'm Maya. You're on that new hockey team, right?" She smiled inquisitively. Cam instinctively flinched at the mention of the word 'hockey'. "Yeah," he answered, rubbing his face on his sleeve once more to ensure the removal of his marketed-on mustache. "Must have fallen asleep during the assembly... they're always picking on me because i'm the new guy." Tristan and Maya smiled at him warmly, such a different smile than he had been getting since his arrival.

"Well," said Tristan, lowering his voice as the teacher entered the classroom, "hopefully all those touchdowns you score this season will shut them all up!" He turned in his seat to face the board, proud of his flirting skills. Cam and Maya exchanged a look, laughing silently at the boy's attempt at sports lingo. Maya smiled at him shyly once more before turning to the front of the room. For the first time in a long time, Cam caught himself smiling for real. "She's kind of cute," he thought to himself. His smile instantly vanished, however, as soon as the Mademoiselle began, "BONJOUR, students..."

Tell me what you think! Should i keep writing?


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2:

Cam was at the center of the ice, the blue jerseys of his opponents closing in on him. He knew he had to act fast, if he didn't want to let the team down. He skated as fast as he could, winding up and taking the most powerful shot of his life. The puck sailed just out of the goalie's reach, and into the top right corner of the net. He felt himself being tackled by his cheering teammates as the loud buzzer went off, signaling the end of the game.

A huge foot slammed down on his own, jolting Cam out of his daydream. French class was over, thank god, and the lunch bell sounded suspiciously like the buzzer in his fantasy. Cam sighed, looking at the empty piece of notebook paper that was supposed to be covered in the grammar exercises on the board. He shook his head, and rose with his binder and backpack towards the hallway.

Cam was only able to find his way to the cafeteria by spotting a random red hoodie, which he assumed was one of his teammates, and following it. Once he made his way into the crowded cafeteria, he felt that familiar shakiness in his brain, the anxiety coming into him. He scanned the vast room, searching for a familiar face. "Cam!" The small blonde girl waved at him from across the room. She was sitting with the feminine boy from French class, and another girl, a snobby looking brunette who was fixing her lipgloss in a handheld mirror. Cam hesitated, but began to walk over towards the table, a wave of relief washing over him.

"Yo Rook! You trying to get some makeup and hair advice from your little friends?" a cackling voice boomed from across the cafeteria. How could he have not spotted them before? The table covered in red, blood-red, the cocky faces of his teammates grinning stupidly at him. He looked into the face of Mike Dallas, who was suddenly striding towards him. Dallas grabbed Cam's shoulder roughly, pulling him back towards the Ice Hounds' table. "Sorry little girl, Cam doesn't date toddlers. Maybe he'll sign an autograph or two later." Dallas laughed, pulling Cam along with him.

"What a douchebag," Cam thought to himself. But he knew that if he spoke up, he would face hell in practice later. So he found himself laughing, even though he could see the insulted look on Maya's face. "Looks like I'm a douchebag too" he thought. "I freaking hate myself. Why cant I stand up to them?" Cam sat down at the table with his teammates, who began to comment sarcastically on his sexuality.

While Luke Baker was busy accusing Cam of wanting to date Tristan, Dallas stepped in. "Please, my dude, Cam can get any girl he wants." Cam looked around uncomfortably, but tried to muster up a smile. "This is the closest thing you have to a family," he thought to himself, "you better make yourself fit in." He looked Luke straight in the face. "Luke, don't be jealous that this hockey team is the farthest youll ever make it. You can always have a few of my leftover groupies once I get signed to the Maple Leafs, ok?" He quipped, eliciting "ooohs" and laughs from the rest of the team, as Luke looked down at his tray of food.

"Alright, Gretsky, why don't you go show us how easy it is for you to pick up girls then?" Luck challenged. Cam felt himself enjoying the attention, and buying into the persona he was building for himself. "Fine, who?" he asked. Dallas scanned the cafeteria, before settling his gaze on a brooding brunette, gorgeous and alone at a table. "How about that feisty little firecracker?" he pointed. Cam gulped. This girl was clearly a senior, and clearly never going to give him the time of day. "uh- no problem. Easy." He gulped again, rising from his seat.

As he crossed the noisy cafeteria and approached the girl, his nerves began to rise up again. He was glad he hadn't yet begun to eat his lunch, because he had a feeling that it would have made a guest appearance at this point. He sat next to the girl, drumming his fingers on the table. The girl looked up, glaring at him. "Can I help you?" she asked sarcastically. "Uh…. Hi. Um, I'm Cam. I'm on the uh hockey team? You know, the Ice Hounds?" he fidgeted nervously, looking back at Dallas and the other hockey players. "Why am I doing this…. Just leave…. I'm such an idiot" his mind raced. The girl gave him a hard stare. "Good for you. I'm trying to study."

Cam scratched the back of his head. "Um, well I'm probably going to get drafted to the NHL by senior year, so um…. Do you like hockey?" The girl looked up from her textbook again. "Do you have a problem? Can you not see that I'm trying to study?"

Cam cracked his knuckles nervously. "Um… what do you say we get out of here?" She furrowed her eyebrows. "And do what?" He looked at Dallas once more, who nodded in encouragement. The heartbeat in his ears continued to grow louder, and that familiar shaky feeling returned. "How about we go get some sex? Or um…" The girl's eyes had narrowed into slits. Without saying a word, she rose from the table, grabbed her glass of water, and poured it on his head as the cafeteria erupted in laughter. Cam stood up, and walked straight for the door. It was as if the cafeteria was suddenly empty. He wiped the water from his face, that wasn't water at all, but tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He made his way down the hallway, searching for a bathroom, and open classroom, anything.


End file.
